This post originally appeared in a slightly different form a little over three years ago, on the old blog page. I reworked and updated it – looking forward to hearing from some new readers in the comments!
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I have a little story to start us out here today – stay with me…
Imagine going to a picnic this 4th of July weekend. Your friends have put out quite the spread, you’re starving, and you know you’re good at eating. The only issue is, you like LOTS of things. So you pick up a large paper plate and start heaping it with all your favorites: potato salad, watermelon, chips, corn on the cob, coleslaw, pasta salad, and oh, wait… there’s a little more room on the side to squeeze some cornbread muffins in before you top it all off with a hot dog and some ribs. And hey, there’s some key lime pie too! Why wait until later to go back? Just add it on right there next to the fried green tomatoes.
You take your “full plate” to a table, settle in with your napkin, and maybe a glass of tea. You resolve to eat the whole thing in one bite. You’re supposed to clean the plate, right? Not waste anything, be efficient? Show your hosts that you enjoy and appreciate what they offer?
Your mouth is not quite up to the task of inhaling it all (much as you would like), so you examine your plate from all angles and try picking everything up with your fork. Quickly ascertaining that a fork is a totally lame tool for the task, you think perhaps acquiring a small shovel would do the trick. With the wonders of same-day delivery, a small shovel is procured (at a cost, because it is a holiday weekend after all), and yet still you can’t figure out how to cram everything down. Maybe you could start with a whole muffin or a handful of chips, but then what about the rest?
All the other guests seem to be managing their plates well enough. Some seem to be already headed over to the fireworks (how’d they choke it down so fast??), although admittedly, you haven’t been watching closely. You’re pretty preoccupied with the task before you. Maybe getting a friend to help would work.
You glance around. Hey, there’s Bob. Over here, Bob!
Bob is happy to assist, but it still all won’t fit even with his own small shovel. He could just eat everything for you, but he confesses it would have to be one bite at a time (slacker), and since he’s a vegetarian, he’ll have to skip the dog and the ribs (his plate of choices looks very different from yours). Mission still not accomplished – you will not be able to eat this meal in one bite. Even if you broke it down, where should you start? You need to finish it all! ! No one can help, and it’s all your fault for even coming to this stupid picnic in the first place.
Disgusted, discouraged, and still starving, you push the plate away and say, “forget it.” If you can’t eat everything, you won’t eat anything. It’s all or nothing.
Of course, the story is ridiculous, but isn’t this kind of what we try to do sometimes with our tasks, responsibilities, and stuff? Every time I hear someone say, “I have so much on my plate!” I brace myself for what tends to follow – a recounting of all of the things that need to get done but are impossible to get done because they all have to get done. If you choose to start one thing, then you can’t do the other 14 things – and what about those?!
And what about organizing a space? If you start on the file drawer or the top of the desk, you turn around and there’s the pile of books and collectibles that never got arranged on the shelves, and also there’s shredding to be taken out, and…and…and… so you just give up and shut down the whole situation. What’s the point?
The point is, by entertaining an all-or-nothing philosophy, staying stuck is pretty certain. I sometimes call this Putting It Off By Piling It On Procrastination (P Cubed), and it’s an excellent way to starve your productivity. If you mentally scurry from task to task or room to room attempting to somehow figure out a way that it will all magically happen and put you out of your misery, you’re doing the exact thing that you so desperately don’t want to do (which is nothing).
So what are some other ways to look at that picnic plate? Well, there’s the obvious idea of eating it a little at a time. I know that method requires patience and diligence (and those are such boring concepts). But what have you got to lose? You’re less hungry, and there’s less on the plate. It’s a step in the right direction. What are some other alternatives?
Here are a few:
- try several large bites on the front end, then take a little break to digest it before a few more (do the big priorities, but pace yourself);
- take some of the food back (maybe you didn’t need that obligation in the first place);
- or give it to someone else who’s hungry (delegation – learning a lesson from friend Bob);
- mix it up a little to keep it interesting – a bite of veggies, then a cookie, then fried chicken (break some rules by bouncing around your spaces a bit);
- wrap most of it up and take it home for later (do the minimum until you can finish at a better time or place); and of course
- you could (gasp) trash some of it – maybe the coleslaw that seems like it’s been left out just a little too long (irrelevant or stale tasks)?
There are options for the way we go about tackling “all the things”, if we can open up to them. Will you choose something, or go home empty?
Oh my goodness! This is wonderful! I love the way you frame this and make your point. My mother had an expression around this. She sometimes asked: Did you bite off more than you can chew? You are so right .. when we feel overwhelmed it can be easier to put our head in the sand and do nothing but that doesn’t feel great either. Taking little bites, doing the big rocks first, all these great ideas help to move the project forward (or reduce the task list) one small bit at a time.
Yes, doing the big rocks – that’s another great analogy. It’s really easy to say yes to too much. Thanks for the comment, Diane!
What a great visual! And what a great reminder that when overwhelmed, break down large tasks into small bites and maybe sweep some off the table altogether.
Thanks, Jonda! I know have another visual of feeding some of it to the dogs (which for me is akin to letting your natural instincts kick in to help you out).
I love the whimsy of this story, and the graphic (sooo cute!). I’m laughing because for Father’s Day my daughter got my husband a spoon that was engraved with “Dad’s ice cream shovel.” (It was a perfect gift because he loves a bowl heaped with ice cream!)
I was able to completely follow the wisdom here. All-or-nothing thinking is so common. I think we suffer with it in many aspects of life.
That’s funny – my dad had a monogrammed ice cream bowl – it was HUGE. And actually, he could handle it (and many other things as well). We all have different -shaped and -sized containers for what we can take on, so knowing what those containers are is key. Thanks for commenting, Seana!
Great post! I advise people who have an issue picking an area of a space because they feel overwhelmed, to start from the right side of the doorway. I read an article some years ago that talks about how people entered retail stores and that they tended to go to the right when they entered. So, I figured it is a natural way to go when entering a room as well. It seemed to work, many of my clients either go to the left or right of a space when decluttering. Then, we work our way around the room. A little direction helps people get unstuck.
That’s a great idea, Sabrina. I read once that the same rule applies to amusement parks – people tend to start at the right and move counter-clockwise. Which is why I always enter left. I prefer the shorter lines for those roller coasters :-D.
I go through this a lot, but never thought of it in these terms. If I have a lot to do and it’s all important, I’m immobilized and get nothing done. Your approach sounds very practical!
It’s actually the same for me with food. If there’s too much on my plate, I won’t eat it all, but I also won’t eat until I’m full. I wonder if there’s a mindset-connection here?
Well that’s interesting…so it’s like you hold back on eating when there’s too much. And maybe hold back on doing when there’s too much to do. I would be curious to learn if any of the approaches I listed shake anything loose for you. Thanks for the comment, Janet.
I love stories that help me remember concepts and this one’s a keeper! I especially enjoyed: “take some of the food back (maybe you didn’t need that obligation in the first place)”. No need to try to finish a task that’s actually impossible.
Yeah, and it can be hard to discern what’s actually impossible when you have so many other things competing for your attention. Thanks for stopping by, Lucy!
This is a magnificent metaphor, but now I’m hungry! (Well, maybe not for the coleslaw.) This is such a vivid example of how the fear of the inability of doing it all prevents people from getting anything done, and makes a mockery of that way of thinking…in the gentlest way possible. I’ll be forwarding this to clients, for sure!
Thanks, Julie! Cole slaw is not really my favorite either. I wish I could have plugged peach cobbler in there somewhere…that would be a perfect representation of a number one priority. 🙂
Mmmm! Warm peach cobbler with ice cream!
Second only to my all-time favorite, creme brûlée (and it’s a really close second).
This was a fun read, Sara! I think, now that you’ve got me thinking about it, that I already manage my tasks the same way I fill my picnic plate. For example, I would never take a little of everything and overfill my plate because I don’t want my food to mix together, or my plate to get too heavy. I figure I can always go back to the table for more if I really want to. (I have a lengthy Master To Do List, from which I choose only a few things to accomplish each day. If they don’t take long, and I feel like it, I go back for more.) I also don’t choose food items I can easily have at home, or something big like a giant baked potato that crowds out the plate and stomach space for several smaller delectable items. (Although….I do have some “baked potato” projects I keep chipping away at. The key there, I suppose, would be to periodically review Why Am I Still Eating This Giant Baked Potato? LOL!)
And now you have me pondering “baked potato” projects…Do we have to add butter or sour cream to make them more palatable, or does the potato project just stay bland and overfilling? Do we do the whole thing, or just what’s underneath the skin? Is it healthy for us, or are we just telling ourselves that story? Sorry, I could go on and on.
LOL, I know, this is a fun topic that could be discussed for hours!
I love your story! And, of course, it’s over the top in the context of approaching food, but it sure makes the point. What comes to mind is “overwhelm.” We pile so much on the plate that we can no longer see the plate, let alone figure out where to start “shoveling.” The suggestions for shifting away from the all-or-nothing thinking and towards more doable approaches make so much sense. I love how you give many options to consider. I suppose one more alternative would be to take less in the first place, which would require some pre-thought and a shift away from the eyes being bigger than the stomach instinct.
Yes, but if we all took less in the first place I guess I wouldn’t have much to write about. 😀 Thanks for the comment and the kind words, Linda.